The guy whom can be trusted

One of the most crucial factors in choosing our leaders in society, business, politics, as well as our friends, companions and people we socialize in general, is trustworthiness. To trust means to believe in someone without proof. That does not mean, that we trust blindly or without mind and thinking; not at all. It just means that there is a solid base, a strong fundament, on which our beliefs are grounded. It is evident that all comes down to the question of character or personality. In this text I am using character and personality as synonyms.

We shall not choose the ones we follow by their resources, their social network, their power or by their outside appearance. Such criteria for election have always been a disaster in effect, as history is full of stories of the charismatic leader, who led his people into ruin. But the leader of a country, may it be a king, a dictator or an elected president, is always a representation of the mass consciousness of a certain people. So it can be said, without being sarcastic, that every people has the leaders it deserves. That it definitely true, and makes us draw a crucial conclusion from it. If we want to have better and more capable and competent leaders, we have to change ourselves first! We have to act more mindfully, more in the present of the moment with guiding the help of our heart and our brain. What I mean is not some weird, esoteric or New-Age thinking, without connection to reality (we have had enough of that for a few decades now and the results are everything else than fruitful). It just means, we do not be blinded and irritated by the smoke of fake personality and see through all the deceptions that come along our way.

One is never deceived, we always deceive ourselves. The lack of our own integrity opens up a hole in our personality, so that outside forces can invade us and may take control of our true being. We may feel like being out of control, and that is true to some degree, for we let an outside force (normally another human being) take control. But we always have the power to re-establish our own reign. So first of all, if we really wish to live in a world of trustworthy people, if we want to have prospering relationships, we have to become, what we want to perceive - trustworthy. If you want to have good friends, first it is your duty to be such a good friend to others. And considering the question of trustworthiness, it is your job to be trustworthy yourself.
Many people think, detecting the personality of another human being and being successful in life comes from a certain kind knowledge and the training of clearly defined skills. In other words, they believe, that success, may it be in business, society, sports or relationship and the like, comes from knowing “tricks” and having special information most people do not have, or which are hidden from public. They believe that knowledge is power, and that you could change the word outside of you. So they read books, visit seminars and workshops, listen to “Gurus”, who seemingly have “the wisdom”, and pay thousands of Euros or Dollars. Nothing could be more short-sighted. Fact is that you can control to hundred percent what is inside of you (at least potentially, not to say you have already acquired this ability) but the world outside of you is completely out of your control. You have zero control over what is not inside of you. So any change in life can only come from inside. The outside is only an effect; the world is an indirect perception of ourselves, not more and not less!

Let’s go back to the question of character and trustworthiness. A person, that knows his boundaries, knows what he can control and what is outside of his control. Ideas of “let us change the world and make it a better place” are dull, especially when spoken by a politician. The attempt to create heaven on earth has always led to hell! (By the way did you notice that dictators are always talking about peace: Hitler, Soviet Union et. al.) A mature person accepts what cannot be controlled and is not wasting energy on it. If we have the wish for vengeance, we live in the illusion to controlling the past, which can not be controlled. If we are afraid of the future, we are living in the illusion of controlling the future. Regret or vengeance are suffering over the past and anxiety is suffering over the future. But we can only live in the now. Suffering means there is going something wrong in our life. Suffering tells us to stop, what we are doing. But that is not the way human beings look at the world. Suffering is just wasting of energy, we are alarmed by our mind, not to waste energy, and therefore suffering exists. The truth is, that there is never a past and there is never a future, they are never real. A person, who is afraid, as well as a person, who regrets the past, is not living in reality. Suffering also tells us, that we are not living in reality. In reality there is never pessimism, there is only optimism. Pessimism is nothing else than immaturity. And do not be deceived by people who tell that the reason, why they are pessimistic is because they are realists. That is another deception to justify their negative view of the world and themselves. For whatever we think about the world, is what we think about ourselves.

So we have another factor of a mature person, whom can be trusted. A mature person is an optimist. A trustworthy person has strong personal boundaries. He knows what are his goals and values; he knows his priorities and lives by them. So he is able to say “no” when someone wants him to act against his values or goals. We may not like, that a person opposes us with a “no”, but at least we can respect such a person and we can trust him, for what we know what he is standing for. He has a profile, in other words, he has character. And character is destiny, as we know since the times of the old Greek.

The ability to choose other people by their character is one of the most important skills we must learn in life. Without this skill, we end up in bad jobs, bad economic situation, bad relationships and bad societies. But keep in mind: You are the master of your character, your are the master of your word, everything begins with you! Character is destiny!