The guy whom can be trusted

One of the most crucial factors in choosing our leaders in society, business, politics, as well as our friends, companions and people we socialize in general, is trustworthiness. To trust means to believe in someone without proof. That does not mean, that we trust blindly or without mind and thinking; not at all. It just means that there is a solid base, a strong fundament, on which our beliefs are grounded. It is evident that all comes down to the question of character or personality. In this text I am using character and personality as synonyms.

We shall not choose the ones we follow by their resources, their social network, their power or by their outside appearance. Such criteria for election have always been a disaster in effect, as history is full of stories of the charismatic leader, who led his people into ruin. But the leader of a country, may it be a king, a dictator or an elected president, is always a representation of the mass consciousness of a certain people. So it can be said, without being sarcastic, that every people has the leaders it deserves. That it definitely true, and makes us draw a crucial conclusion from it. If we want to have better and more capable and competent leaders, we have to change ourselves first! We have to act more mindfully, more in the present of the moment with guiding the help of our heart and our brain. What I mean is not some weird, esoteric or New-Age thinking, without connection to reality (we have had enough of that for a few decades now and the results are everything else than fruitful). It just means, we do not be blinded and irritated by the smoke of fake personality and see through all the deceptions that come along our way.

One is never deceived, we always deceive ourselves. The lack of our own integrity opens up a hole in our personality, so that outside forces can invade us and may take control of our true being. We may feel like being out of control, and that is true to some degree, for we let an outside force (normally another human being) take control. But we always have the power to re-establish our own reign. So first of all, if we really wish to live in a world of trustworthy people, if we want to have prospering relationships, we have to become, what we want to perceive - trustworthy. If you want to have good friends, first it is your duty to be such a good friend to others. And considering the question of trustworthiness, it is your job to be trustworthy yourself.
Many people think, detecting the personality of another human being and being successful in life comes from a certain kind knowledge and the training of clearly defined skills. In other words, they believe, that success, may it be in business, society, sports or relationship and the like, comes from knowing “tricks” and having special information most people do not have, or which are hidden from public. They believe that knowledge is power, and that you could change the word outside of you. So they read books, visit seminars and workshops, listen to “Gurus”, who seemingly have “the wisdom”, and pay thousands of Euros or Dollars. Nothing could be more short-sighted. Fact is that you can control to hundred percent what is inside of you (at least potentially, not to say you have already acquired this ability) but the world outside of you is completely out of your control. You have zero control over what is not inside of you. So any change in life can only come from inside. The outside is only an effect; the world is an indirect perception of ourselves, not more and not less!

Let’s go back to the question of character and trustworthiness. A person, that knows his boundaries, knows what he can control and what is outside of his control. Ideas of “let us change the world and make it a better place” are dull, especially when spoken by a politician. The attempt to create heaven on earth has always led to hell! (By the way did you notice that dictators are always talking about peace: Hitler, Soviet Union et. al.) A mature person accepts what cannot be controlled and is not wasting energy on it. If we have the wish for vengeance, we live in the illusion to controlling the past, which can not be controlled. If we are afraid of the future, we are living in the illusion of controlling the future. Regret or vengeance are suffering over the past and anxiety is suffering over the future. But we can only live in the now. Suffering means there is going something wrong in our life. Suffering tells us to stop, what we are doing. But that is not the way human beings look at the world. Suffering is just wasting of energy, we are alarmed by our mind, not to waste energy, and therefore suffering exists. The truth is, that there is never a past and there is never a future, they are never real. A person, who is afraid, as well as a person, who regrets the past, is not living in reality. Suffering also tells us, that we are not living in reality. In reality there is never pessimism, there is only optimism. Pessimism is nothing else than immaturity. And do not be deceived by people who tell that the reason, why they are pessimistic is because they are realists. That is another deception to justify their negative view of the world and themselves. For whatever we think about the world, is what we think about ourselves.

So we have another factor of a mature person, whom can be trusted. A mature person is an optimist. A trustworthy person has strong personal boundaries. He knows what are his goals and values; he knows his priorities and lives by them. So he is able to say “no” when someone wants him to act against his values or goals. We may not like, that a person opposes us with a “no”, but at least we can respect such a person and we can trust him, for what we know what he is standing for. He has a profile, in other words, he has character. And character is destiny, as we know since the times of the old Greek.

The ability to choose other people by their character is one of the most important skills we must learn in life. Without this skill, we end up in bad jobs, bad economic situation, bad relationships and bad societies. But keep in mind: You are the master of your character, your are the master of your word, everything begins with you! Character is destiny!

The Feel-Good-Society

During the last twenty-something years a dramatic change of values has taken place in the Western Societies. We have become weak societies of immaturity, of coward’s and most of all, of victims. And victims are characterized with not being responsible. Some even think victims have a right for vengeance, they are allowed to harm the one’s, who seemingly harmed them before. The methods therefore are very various. One may just get angry, living out the own narcism on others. Another person my tyrannize the co-workers or the family and friends or start a lawsuit to get a compensation for the pain, that had to be feat. Even getting insane, acquiring a mental disease is a way to get rid of society and leave it up all to the other people. And then there are the various “psyche problems” so many people hide these days to live on their pervert and infantile lifestyle and have a “good explanation” for it. Society is stupid enough to believe theses people and psychologist strongly support the poor “victims”!

The worst thing about an immature society is the inability to face the reality, to face the facts. Politicians don’t communicate brutal truths to the voters, the pay marketing companies for giving them advice to “sell” their politics to the people. Other consultants give advice how to deceive commissions and get around obstacles by swindling. That is what happened with Greece, when the poor country in the southeast corner auf Europe joined the Euro zone. But on the other hand, there are not only the people who deceive, but also the one’s who let themselves be deceived. Goethe once wrote that you never get deceived but you always deceive yourself. That is more than true.

People are far more interesting in hearing what sounds nice to their ears, instead of being told hard truths. But in the background there always stays this inconvenient feeling that somewhere in the future we all will have to pay a high price for not seeing the reality in the moment. That is true for individuals as for whole societies and in the end for the whole mankind and the planet. People have lost their freedom to a seemingly nice present, for many it looks nice to be caught in a golden cage, but even a golden cage stays a cage, an instrument of control of someone else and of imprisonment. Whoever sells freedom for security is neither worth the one nor the other. We have to recognize, that the value of freedom is more important than “having a nice life”. Life is a school for learning no place to enjoy yourself and no purpose on its own.

In the children’s society, we are living in, more and more people act out instead of behaving as natural and spontaneous human beings. For they never have become adult, they never had an adequate guidance, nor an example of such a person, they fight the demons of childhood for the rest of their lifes and project there own inner emptiness and problems onto others. So the idea arises, that there is “evil” in the world, and that must be fought. But evil per se does not exist. What is evil for one person, is good for another person. Good and bad are completely relative. Even a war cannot be considered evil, for there are people who profit from it and in who’s perception it is something good. This is another truth nobody wants to hear, and of course it is not “political correct” (political correctness is also an instrument of deception, to make people be “nice” to each other, also if there is nothing to be nice about. Id est the wish to feel good).

The happiness of human beings is not intended by nature, as Sigmund Freund, the great Austrian psychiatrist, declared. Word nobody wants to hear nowadays and whoever can not argue against an argument, must attack the arguing person. People want to hear, that their life is important, that everybody could be a kind of “kind” or “queen”, every person could be successful and the like. Be we all have our destiny and for most, what we call “success” in the ordinary way, is not intended. We have a complete corrupted idea about happiness and fulfilment. The mistake is already rooted in the depth of the culture we live in, that has come to a lower level than ever before in history. In contrary to what most people believe, we live in very primitive and bad times! Immanuel Kant, the German Philosopher and Professor, once wrote, that complete happiness, complete bliss, would mean that all our wished would be fulfilled in quantity and quality. How can that be? Imagine all the different wishes people have, they would necessarily contradict the wishes of others. So, if god wanted to fulfil everybody’s wished, he himself could not do it. Thinking along this avenue, we never come to realize true happiness. Even if we get what we wish, we experience suffering, for nothing is eternal, everything in the universe finds its end, even ourselves, we are going to die and every day on earth brings us neared to the cold grave.

So, what do we have to realize? We have to realize, that happiness does never come from fulfilling wishing, but to give up wishing at all. We enter the realm of reality, if we live without intentions in our life. Wish nothing, crave for nothing, and you are happy in the same moment! Hard to believe, but the only truth, that can be found concerning happiness and fulfilment.

A typical sign of our times is, that everybody feels like a victim, people behave, as if life owed them something and they are looking for the “bad guy”, who is to blame for their own misery. Whenever something in life goes wrong, someone else must be to blame or must be brought before court. That is not the behaviour of adult people, but adult humans are the rarest species to be found on the planet. Ever exotic animals, threatened to be the last of their kind, are more common in the world.

Especially the western societies are bankrupt, not only in the financial sense but especially concerning morality. Tolerance is based on cowardice, “doing good” is done out of feelings of shame or guilt (by the way feelings of guilt and shame are naughty, we should not teach our children guilt or shame, so that they can live a free live) and the hope, that nobody will harm us if we don’t harm others. My own mother used to say: “The way you shout into the forest is the way the words come back to you!” But she was damned wrong! The world is not a nice and cosy place and it never will be, it is not in the hand of human beings to create a “paradise”, that attempt will only lead to hell. What is necessary for human beings is finding oneself in the ability to attack others and defend yourself and be proud of what you can do, find your own strength apart for society of other people. The only thing that really counts in life is you and only you! Everything else is at the ranks behind you.

To see truth and accept it as well as be able to handle it are adult characteristics. As long as people are not adult they will your “tricks”, “manipulation”, “drugs”, “alcohol”, “distractions” (media, movie, TV, Shopping..) and the like, to go through life to give them the feeling of being part of mankind. What we need is intellectual honesty and integrity to survive in this 21st Century. Non-western societies go different ways. Some try to imitate the senseless consuming approach of the West, others are more concentrating on their own core values. But most of these countries a quit noble in their way to communicate to us, but don’t think they know that the west is bankrupt, and that real values have been lost. Our society is getting digged out from inside and it is only a question of time until everybody sees that there is nothing inside and that our way of living, our nations and societies are as empty as the neurotic every-day-person on this planet.

Wake up and change your reality! Or disappear from earth!